Punday Monday: Sing a Song

Yay, more takeout food puns!

Some kids grow up reading National Geographic and listening to whatever’s on the radio at the moment. I had my father’s collection of MAD magazines from the 1960s and polka medleys from Weird Al Yankovic, which meant I was thoroughly steeped in parody from an impressionable age. Pop songs, being as close to ubiquitous as Western society can manage, are easy to pun on. (Or relatively easy — there were always those few ditties which I thought everyone knew which were met with a “What is that from?” Like the time I used the brilliant twofer Tofu, Soy of Man’s Desiring in honor of my vegetarian co-worker, but she’s Jewish and had never heard of Jesú, Joy of Man’s Desiring.)

To reach as wide a swath of my coworkers as possible, I tried to stick with The Oldies, and I credited the artists if it wasn’t screamingly obvious.

There were a lot of mac & cheese songs.

Ain’t No Marscapone Enough

Ain’t no marscapone enough
Ain’t no gorgonzol’ enough
Ain’t no ’mer’can white enough
To keep us from gettin’ to lunch!
(with apologies to Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell)

Mackety Mac!

Take out the cheddar and the brie
Or you don’t get no formaggi’
If you don’t slice up that Gruyere
You ain’t gettin’ Parmesan from there!
Mackety mac! (who’s in, jack?)
(with apologies to the Coasters)

Puttin’ on the Mozz

If it’s lunch and you don’t know
what to munch on why don’t you get
what’s sure to please —
Who’s in for mac and cheese?
Dressed up in romano, brie, and gouda
Noodles Primavera’s tasty food-a (supa dupa!)
All the chicks and all the fellas want their parm and mozzarella with crumbs please —
Who’s in for mac and cheese?
(with apologies to Irving Berlin)

Mozza the Moocher

This is the story of Mozza the moocher
She was a trans-fat number scootcher
She melted creamy and smooth as you please
Tell me who is in for mac and cheese?


But it was sushi which really lent itself to these puns.

The Monster Sushi Mash

I was eating edamame late one night
When my eyes beheld an ika sight
For my salmon from its roll began to rise
And soy-denly, to my surprise
(It did the mash)
The Monster Sushi Mash
(The Sushi Mash)
It was a bento smash
(It did the mash)
It kappa’d in a flash
(It did the mash)
Who’ll do the Monster Sushi Mash?

Beyond the Sea

{Cue sax and drums}
Somewhere, beyond sushi,
Tuna’s waiting for me,
If I could fly like fish on hiiiiiiiigh,
Then straight to Monster
I’d go rolling….
(with apologies to Bobby Darin.)

“Jo” was a coworker who had found a new sushi place around the corner, which was closer than Monster Sushi, so we thought we’d give it a try. (The verdict was that they couldn’t handle an order like the size of the ones we would place. Back to Monster.)

When su-shi calls
with its rolls, dear
and the rice so pearly white
Yellowtail, eel, and tempura
and sashimi’s outta sight
or gyoza
all to tempt your appetite
We’ll try Jo’s place
On 28th street
Who is in for sushi tonight?
(okay, for lunch. with apologies to Bobby Darin. again.)

Maki Maki Burnin’ Love

It’s comin’ closer, wasabi touchin’ my Jan roll
Won’t you help me, the soy sauce is slippin’ away
It’s hard to beat it, edamame so salty
Lord have mercy, craving sushi all day
It’s just a Maki Maki burnin’ love
(ooooh!) It’s just a Maki Maki burnin’ love
(ooooh!) It’s just a Maki Maki burnin’ love

Monster closed temporarily for renovations; there was much rejoicing when it reopened.

Monster is back, and there’s sushi on the menu
(Hey-la, Hey-la, Monster is back)
You know for lunch, you can’t get much better, can you?
(Hey-la, Hey-la, Monster is back)
Hey — they’re done with their construction
And — they’re serving up a luncheon
Who’s in, who’s in, now Monster’s back?
(with apologies to the Angels)